Summer of goodbyes

The summer after high school is hands down one of the worst summers. You think that high school shows you who your real friends are? Well, you are wrong. The summer after high school shows you who your real friends are. Sure you graduated with all of your "friends", but it's the ones that you see and keep in touch with after that, are the important ones. This past summer I said "good bye" and "see you later"'s to over 20 guy friends of mines, who are out serving the Lord. While tears welled in my eyes and the last hug for 2 years were had, I walked out of numerous farewell and farewell after parties with tears streaming down my face. At the end of those Sunday's you sit and think about your favorite memory with the people you said those small non descriptive words that could not express what your heart was full of. The amount of love and how proud I was of each of them was overwhelming. Leaving a farewell, a soon to be missionary at the time said to me, and read on pinterest myself "It's not goodbye, just see you later." Goodbyes have forever been hard for me. The people I have grown close to leave, but are out serving the Lord and spreading his truthful gospel. I hate goodbyes, as I think everytime I say it to my soon to be missionary friends. Goodbyes never get easier. Don't distance yourselves from those you love the most before you say goodbye to them, thinking it will make it easier. It doesn't for either of you. Where is the "good" part in "goodbye"?

Missing you

pc: pinterest

Never thought you'd lose them...

Sometimes in life, you will lose people you never thought you'd lose. You thought that they would be in your life forever. But some people only come into your life for a certain amount of time, and then they leave. It is hard, and it sucks, and you don't understand it. Honestly nobody really knows, sometimes you hope that you will cross paths again perhaps later, but not everyone is supposed to be in your life. Not everyone deserves to be in your life if they were not there for you in your darkest times, they don't get to be there for you victories. People go from meaning the world to you, to breaking your heart in mere moments. Not just romantic relationships, but friendships too. Sometimes they come into your life out of nowhere, and leave just how they came. Some of the people that come into our lives we understand why they did and sometimes we won't know for years to come. Or maybe never. Doesn't matter if you were in a relationship or a friendship, when it is over, your heart breaks. It is sometimes hard to bounce back, but you will. I did, and so will you. It takes time.
Have you ever met someone and thought if we had met at a different time, maybe things wouldn't have ended the way that they did? I believe this, I also believe that Heavenly Fathers timing is perfect. I obviously stand middle ground. Sometimes things just make sense the second time around.

I still miss those people I shouldn't, I am the queen of missing people I shouldn't. Perhaps it isn't the person I miss but the memories and the way they made me feel. But time does heal wounds, but wounds won't heal if you keep touching them. Let it go of the things you can not control, if it is meant to be it will be. Heavenly Father has this awesome sidekick called Fate.

And there is a story in mine...

Everyone has their own story, and everyone has a secret that would break your heart. 

If you look into a crowd of people; on the street or at the beach, where I realized this. It is indescribable that all those people, people you don't know, each have their own story. Their own story of heart break, trials, tears, strengths, weaknesses, ups, and downs. They all have their own things that make them smile, songs they love, memories that last forever, their darkest moments, flaws, and insecurities. And when you look into that crowd you have no idea what any of those things are for those people. How amazing is that? How quick are we to judge? When we do not know the most microscopic thing about them. My story is unique, like no one else's.